The following are letters written to Charity by her friends and either sent to us or left at her grave site. They are numbered 1 through 16 but are arranged in no particular order. Scroll down to view more.
- Charity-
Hey there baby girl. I miss you so much. Every day and every night I think of you. There is so much I want to tell you and to share with you. Nothing’s the same without you here. You’re always with me in my heart. I’m thinking about your mom, too. I haven’t got out to see her yet, and for that I’m sorry. I just don’t think I’m ready yet. I’ll try soon. We drove up to Detroit Lakes and all I could think about was when me and you went. At least we had a lot of good, fun memories. They will never leave my mind. You were and still are a dear, best friend to me. There is not one day that goes by that you don’t come up in our minds and conversation. Melissa and I are always bringing up the times we had with you. I feel like I’m writing you one of those silly notes that we used to write in 9th grade. There is still a box of Chicken in A Biscuit crackers that you brought down to my room in there. They’re never going out now. In my mind you’re up in Minot with your dad. I feel like I don’t need to write everything because I’m going to talk to you. I do know that I can still talk to you and you will listen. I know you won’t respond but you’ll listen, like you always did. I love you and miss you so very much, Cherrybomb.Love you always.
LindsayP.S. Oni wan kanoby, you’re my only hope! - I never really got to really know Charity until we were on the same cheerleading squad. l soon realized that she was one of the sweetest, most outgoing people l know and admire. l admire her for being an individual. She was never afraid to be herself and to stand up for what she thought was right. She was always there to cheer us up when we were feeling down. Charity always had a smile on her face and could always make me laugh.
Even if it was for only a short time, she touched many people’s lives in some way. For me, she taught me not to care about what others think of me, and to be my own person. l feel that this is a very important lesson and one l will use for the rest of my life, and l am glad Charity was here to teach it to me.~Nicole - Charity-
Hey sweetie. How are you? I just wanted to write to tell you that I miss you lots. I know we kinda lost touch after you moved. We were just young, we didn’t know. I thought about everyday over the years, wondering how you were doing and just wanting to call you up, but I didn’t know if you would remember me. Gosh, why did you have to go. I go to your grave every holiday and also the 18th of every month, (the day God took you to a safer place).
When I went to your funeral and I saw you lying there all I could do was cry. I touched you, you were so cold and pale, you were too young to die! I hope you liked the roses and the flowers and also my poem. Here’s my poem: [See Poems no. 3]Mindy - Charity,I could write about a million pages on why you should come back and how I miss you. But it won’t bring you back and it won’t ease my pain. Nothing I do can make you come back and someday maybe I will realize that. All I can really say is that I am truly one of the luckiest people to have known you. I wish I could have told you that when you were still alive. I will never forget you. You will always hold a special place in my heart. I’ll miss our bonfires, our sleep-overs, our jokes, our phone conversations, even our disagreements, but most of all I’ll miss the person you were and the person you still are in my heart. Your spirit lives in each and everyone who knew you.Although I still cry for you every night, I know that part of you is with me. Your life was cut short; you left behind so much. A little sister. Your mother, who misses you so much. A father. And your friends. God sure is lucky to have you up there with Him.
The courage you had and the will to live your life to the fullest is an inspiration to me. I admire you so much. Someday Chare, I’ll tell you that in person. Until then, I love you. And don’t forget, the Rolling Stones concert is still on… - I had this friend. She was really cool. Always happy, cheerful, and always knew what to do to cheer you up. She was a walking fashion statement. Always knew what was in, and always looked perfect in it. She was always herself, never tried to be somebody she wasn’t. Her ideas always worked, and she was a blast to be with. The picture of an All American Girl. But you can’t judge a book by its cover. On the inside, something was eating away at her. She never told anybody, because she didn’t want to be treated any different. God gave us the gift of getting to know her better. We got closer over the months, learning each day that we had something else in common with each other. She had a very special place in my heart, and always will. This monologue is dedicated to my very good friend Charity Kohlman, who died Sunday Morning. I love you Charity, and I know will see you again someday.In Loving Memory of Charity Mae Kohlman
1981-1998 - 2-25-98
Dearest Charity~Hey sweetie! How’s heaven? I just wanted you to know how much I miss you. Just the other day I was going through my memory box and I found tons of notes from you, but I found this Christmas card that I’m going to forever treasure, it read – “I’m really glad that we have gotten so close, you are one of my best friends. I feel like I can tell you anything! Love ya Charity” – We have so many great memories together that I’m never going to forget. I know we haven’t ever talked about our fight in 8th grade, but I’ll always consider you one of my best friends, forever. I really miss your bright smile and your loving face. There is something I need to ask you. Will you please watch over my friend? He died and I know he is up there in heaven. Will you make sure he is okay, for me!Well, Charity, you are in heaven, where all the angels go. I miss you dearly and I can’t wait until I see your face again. I know you are happy because you are in the hands of God.Bye!
Love ya
P.S. Andi
You will
always be
my “little
Cherrio!” - MARCH 18, 1998
DEAR CHARITY-IT’S BEEN TWO MONTHS SINCE YOU LEFT ME. THERE’S NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY WHERE I DON’T THINK ABOUT YOU OR HOW MUCH I MISS YOU. SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED AND I’M SO CONFUSED ABOUT SO MANY THINGS. I MISS HAVING YOU TO TALK TO AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SMILE TO BRIGHTEN MY GLOOMY DAYS. I MISS BEING ABLE TO TALK TO YOU AND TELL YOU MY PROBLEMS AND YOU ALWAYS KNOWING THE RIGHT THING TO SAY OR THE FEW WORDS YOU’D SAY THAT WOULD MAKE EVERYTHING ALL BETTER. NOTHING IS THE SAME WITHOUT YOU HERE. YOU’VE DEFINITELY PUT A WHOLE LOT OF IMPACT ON MY LIFE AND YOU’VE LEFT THAT VOID – AND HOLE IN MY HEART – THAT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. I KNOW THE LAST THING YOU WOULD WANT IS FOR ME TO BE SAD, BUT I AM. I MISS YOU SO MUCH CHERRYBOMB. I KNOW YOU WERE PUT ON THIS EARTH FOR A REASON AND THE LORD BELIEVED YOU FULFILLED YOUR “DUTY”, BUT I DON’T BELIEVE IT. YOU COULDN’T HAVE BEEN READY TO LEAVE SO YOUNG. YOU LEFT SO MUCH UNDONE. I WASN’T READY FOR YOU TO LEAVE AND STILL FEEL AS THOUGH YOU WILL WALK INTO SCHOOL AND TELL ME ABOUT YOUR GREAT VACATION. I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE CHARITY. I NEVER GOT THAT ONE LAST SMILE OR THAT ONE LAST HUG THAT I LONG FOR. ALL I’VE GOT LEFT ARE OUR MEMORIES AND THE FEW THINGS YOU’VE GIVEN ME. I KNOW YOU’RE HERE & WATCHING OVER ME, BUT IT’S JUST NOT THE SAME. YOU AREN’T HERE. I MISS YOU CHARITY & YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY HEART & WE’VE ALWAYS GOT OUR MEMORIES.
I LOVE YOU GIRL!LOVE,
MARNI - 4/12/98
~Charity~Hey there sweetheart. How’s heaven? Treating ya good, right. I know that everybody misses you, dearly. I know I do. Every night, before I go to bed, I get on my knees and ask God to take special care of you, for you were a special person. Anyways~I decided to write and say “Hi” and that I love you.
Charity-every time I think of you a huge smile comes across my face for I know you are in Heaven.P.S. Happy Easter Love ya forever &
enjoy my bunny! a day
Andi - To Cheerio!Hey honey, I know it’s been awhile and I have to apologize for that, I guess it’s just been pretty hard for me to deal with still but hey I finally worked up the strength! Things still have not been the same without you but they are moving along slowly, we all miss you so much and we think about you every day. I never thought that I would have to say this but I wish that I would have had a chance to say goodbye. Even though you are gone I feel closer now to you than ever. Whenever I need to talk you are always there just like before. I can still hear your voice and see your smile. Your laugh is still fresh in my mind, and at night before I to to bed I swear I can still hear you honking. I know that wherever you are right now you are happy and so are the people around. Charity you made all of our lives a little bit brighter and we thank you so much for that. I love you Charity and I always will!Your best friend always
Natalie - Dear Char, 4/15/98
Hi hun. How are you? I’m alright. Hanging in there I guess. I hope you’re comfortable. What’s it like where you are? There’s so much I need to talk to you about. I would write it down, but I know people go and read these letters. That’s okay though. I know I’d like to hear how other people are doing about all of this. I haven’t talked to Tiff or Shannon lately how they are doing. I hope they’re doing well. I know you meant the world to them. And you sure as hell meant a whole lot to everyone else. I know we didn’t become that close, but what we did have is very special to me. Remember when we went to Dan’s house? That was so much fun. Our soap opera for drama was the best! Can you believe our teacher wants me and Tiffany to do the lip sync and put somebody in your place? I don’t think so! Replace Cherry Spice?! Never! I wish you were here. I want to thank you for being there when I needed someone. Calling if I was having a bad day, to make sure I was doing okay, Confiding in me, and letting me confide in you. I was so happy to have a friend who didn’t treat me like shit. Whenever Tiffany (Tipper) and I were fighting, you were there for me. Talking to your mom really helps a lot. I wish you could come back. I want to see you so bad, to hear your voice one more time. You know the last time I heard it, you were doing your monologue. It was a good one too. Told you it goes much quicker than it seems. My mom got me a frog for my car about a month ago, and it’s the same one you had, except it’s got a red flower instead of purple. Frogs rule and they always will. I really wish you would give me a sign so I’d know if you were still here. But I should go. I love you a lot, and I know I’ll see you again someday.Love, Susie
P.S. It’s my birthday in a week… What chya going to get me? J/K Ha Ha - May 13,1998
Charity,
Hey hun, wuz up. Nothing much has been going on since you died. It still is very hard for me . I don’t think it will ever be easy. I haven’t stopped and saw your mom for a while. I try to go when I can. My birthday is coming soon and we can’t go to the Olive Garden like we said. We weren’t able to do all the things we said we were going to do. I still haven’t seen any of the movies we said we were going to go to. We said we were going to do a lot of things. I need you so much in my life right now and I wish I can tell you all about it. I will always miss you I love you!
Love always,
Amanda
P.S.
I’ll see you on
my Birthday! - 5-25-98
Charity,
Hey love. How are you? I’m not so good. I need to talk to you, but I don’t know how to describe the way I feel. I always come to see you, but other people are out there, so I don’t get to say much. How is your mom doing? I wish I could help her. I know you are watching over her, but she doesn’t seem to be doing well. I’d love to talk to her, but I never know what to say. I want to sit in your room, and talk to you, and look at your things, and remember the fun we used to have, but I’m sure she wouldn’t like that. That must be something like a sanctuary to her. Please let her know that I want to help her, and I am always here. I miss you so much. Please, give me a sign so I know you are still here. My life is a living hell right now, and you were the only one I could talk to who actually cared. It’s not the same having to hold everything in. It’s so hard. Lissa is sitting here with me. She says she loves and misses you. We all do so much it’s unbearable. It’s Amanda’s birthday today. We are having a surprise party for her at the Olive Garden. You had planned to take her there, and we are hardly a replacement, but it’s the best we could do. God! I can’t do this! I need to talk to you. Death has been on my mind for months now. You had so much to live for hun. You were so special! You still are. You were so important to everyone. I’m just like a back up friend to everyone. Nothing great. I guess I should be thanking the Lord for putting me here, but I can’t. Things get so hard, and I don’t feel I can handle it anymore. Well, I should be going. I love you Cherry Spice!
Love Susie - June 8,1998
Charity Mae,
Well, it has almost been 5 months since you passed away, and it has been a long 5 months. I really miss you a lot sweetie, I would do anything to have you back in my life. We were the best of friends, and I miss that more than anything. I miss meeting you in the morning before school, I miss meeting you at your locker, I miss going to get your oil changed with you, I miss cruising down Broadway chasing hot guys, I miss us just plain out spending time together. And you know what I miss the most Charity, the way you used to say “Scotty!” No one could say his name like you did. My life just can’t go on without you sweetie. You were the one person who didn’t look upon my family as bad people, even when my family has made mistakes. You didn’t care about what happened in the past, you still wanted to be my best friend. I love you very much for that Charity. You were basically the only supportive friend I had. And now the only support that I have is your voice in my head. Charity, I would do anything to just give you a huge hug and tell you that I love you very much. I want you to come back so bad, nothing is the same without you, NOTHING!! I do see your mom a lot though, I am really worried about her Charity, please watch over and don’t let anything happen to her. I don’t want to lose her, she is basically my connection to you, and she knows exactly what I am going through. Summer has gotten really big. You would be so proud of her. I was over at your mom’s today, and Summer can take steps now with your mom holding on to her, it’s so cute. But I will tell you one thing, Summer has got to have the cutest, fattest cheeks that I have ever seen. She is adorable! Your mom also gave me your lucky stone from Itasca State Park, and a ring that you had bought. I also received the picture of you with Aerosmith when you were younger. You were cute, but then you always have been. Your headstone is very beautiful, just like you. I couldn’t wait for them to put it in, I even skipped 6th hour to come out and watch them put it in. But you are very well worth skipping school for. But don’t worry, I didn’t get in trouble for it. Well Charity, I just want to let you know that not one day goes by without me thinking of you. I think of you night and day sweetheart. I want you to know that I love you very much and miss you tons. I can’t wait to be with you again. See you when I get there sweetie.Love You Always and Forever,
Tiffany - 6-18-98
Cheerio,
Hey babe! How’s heaven? Wow it’s been awhile since I’ve been out here. Your headstone is beautiful. I still can’t believe that you are gone. There are so many things that I need to say to you, but they will wait until I get to heaven. I think about you every day and the memories we have. I couldn’t believe that your mom remembered me. She even reminded me about that one Halloween me & you went Trick or Treating w/ Amanda & Kelly. I remember how Amanda, you & I walked all the way from Kelly’s house to yours, it took us forever. Anyways, you & my friend are in my prayers. I love you deeply.Love ya forever
and a day,
Andi - July 8, 1998Someone once told me as long as l believe in my heart that you are here, your memory will never die. But you know what Charity? lt is almost 6 months since you left me and the hurt is just as bad as living that first day without you. There has not been one day that has past where l don’t think of you, your mom and Summer. You have also taught me a life long lesson… To get everything out of everyday that l can & always find time for fun.
l was reading the Christmas card you gave me and you know what, we never got to go to the concerts at the Bowler. But that’s okay, cuz l am living my life to the fullest and doing everything twice over, once for you.
l love you and miss you, Babe. Please keep watching over me & being my guardian angel like l know you are.
With all the love in the world~
Love~
Marni - July 17, 1998Dear Charity,I miss seeing your smile, that smile that lit up the school like an A-bomb.
It’s been 6 months since you’ve been gone. On the 18th of January, I was at work and some Moorhead kid said some chick from his school died. I had no idea you went to Moorhead before. I got in school on the following Tuesday, and it was dead quiet. You could hear a pin drop. I was going to class and Mike told me the news. My heart dropped. I didn’t know you all that well, but I was crushed.
I went to your wake, your funeral, and your burial. I felt so bad for your mom. She looked like she was going through hell.
I was so cried out, that when two weeks later my grandma died, I didn’t shed a tear.
You have a phat tombstone. I left you my gold cross chain on the cross part of the stone. It’s my gift to you. At times, me and a friend will sneak in at night to light your candles for you, so your grave is visible through the whole graveyard. I miss you, and let your soul shine through eternity.Peace Out!!
Ryan